I learned something yesterday, yes, as you can see from above, "loudness does not equate to good tone. This isn't really a very new concept to me, but most of the time, application is not half as easy as even remembering it. There is this phenomenon around the world that bands are playing too loudly, this is really quite evident even in singapore. Just like the band I am in now. We are playing gustav's Suite no. 1, just because it's a march does not always meant that the music would be heavy, loud or coarse. Many a times, it might just as well be the opposite, light, mezzo forte dynamic, staccato with rounded tone.

Hmm.., anyway, as our conductor, terrence, was saying, apparently, it was that someone told him to read this blog of a secondary school girl, where the girl talked about this. And so he shared it with us. Most of the time when we think of having a good tone, ideas such as good projection, being more audible than your neighbour come straight to our minds. This is true, to some extent, but when you play too loud than you can under controlled conditions, lots of things are sacrificed. Your support becomes out of balance, tone may crack etc.

I think what I am trying to do is becoming more aware. Yes, awareness is the word. Awareness in the sense of listening to yourself, your neighbours, the various sections, intonation, watching the conductor, feeling your fingers on every single key, feeling your air being pushed out, your air speed maintained etc. So being in the state of consciousness is very crucial at any point of music making. So I have written, of course, easier said than done. However, its not doing the stuffs themseleves that matter, rather its having the discipline and adwareness to keep in mind all these stuffs that's more important...

Today, I have another long day. It was an extremely unconstructive day but I had accomplished tons of work, work that I would not have been able to finish on my own. I always hated doing this and I can't help but feel depressed after the entire affair. This feeling was so familiar, that I am depending on that someone, and I hated this. I hated this just as much as watching a movie at the theater. When I walk out from the big screens there is this feeling of vacuity that dwell inside. Yes, I felt a little cheated, maybe... Maybe I should just stop going to the movies altogether, since it yields so little satisfaction to me...

"Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory."
~Mohandas Gandhi